The Unfading Beauty of Gentleness

​praótēs– temperate, displaying the right blend of force and reserve. This "strength in gentleness" produces an appropriate response out of unselfish care for others while simultaneously avoiding compromise.  
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   Snow was falling and friends were calling (well, maybe texting), and we were preparing to host my family for Christmas morning.  In just a few minutes they would all begin to arrive, laden with their wrapped gifts, delectable food and every kind of joviality.  And my husband had forgotten the coffee cream I had texted him to bring home. 
    I stared at him in shocked disbelief, irritation showing clearly in my expression.  Without thinking through the many other items he had picked up that morning for me I expressed my exasperation with his perceived "epic failure."  
     Without reacting, he immediately walked back out into the cold to the car and went to get the cream. I immediately felt remorse and conviction at my ingratitude and rudeness.  Once Jeff returned, he handed me the cream without showing any difference in care or attitude toward me.
    He could have come up with an intimidating or angry retort.  He could have pointed out the many ways he had helped me prepare for that day.  He could have avoided me or refused to help anymore.  Instead, he used his strength to forgive, love and continue to care for and serve me.  He covered over my wrong with his love and forgiveness. He demonstrated gentleness. 
    Gentleness is a quality that is often associated with fragility.  We think of a mother gingerly placing her newborn in its crib, being careful not to wake him.  We think of a small child holding a chick.  We think of light and careful touches, and soft-spoken whispers. While these are true examples of gentleness, we often forget why they are examples. In fact, the best examples include those that have the most strength while demonstrating the greatest appropriate use of that strength in response. ​

   Gentleness is power and strength used appropriately.   
     Pearls come from oysters and mussels.  The process of formation begins when an irritant, usually sand or salt, which could be damaging to the reproduction of the creature, makes its way into the shell.             Once inside, it is recognized as the irritant it is and the oyster or mussel immediately begins to cover it over with nacre, or mother of pearl, which is both strong and iridescent.  Thousands and thousands of layers later, with many pearls taking multiple years to form, the beauty of the pearl can be extracted and sold at high values around the world. 
         

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   This is the way God uses gentleness in our lives through the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit.  Every day we encounter potential threats, irritations and training opportunities.  As a parent, we have unlimited opportunities to react to our children.  As a spouse, even unintended, not to mention purposeful, flaws create problems and unpleasant situations for us.  As children, co-workers, or members of a local church group, we find ourselves in dilemmas that require responses that are less or more than what our initial reaction would like to enforce.  
       That is where gentleness comes in.  In response to the gift of grace by the Holy Spirit, the desire and wisdom of how to react appropriately becomes part of our practiced behavior.  Not merely once or twice, but thousands upon thousands of layers get added to our responses, demonstrating Christ-likeness.  Our responses grow, not in selfishness or arrogance, but in love and respect for others.  The end result is a beautiful, indestructible gift: to ourselves, to others and most importantly in our gift of worship to our King Jesus. 
      This doesn’t mean we are push-overs, or that we never question or correct wrong behavior in others: it simply means that we respond appropriately, with the measure of firmness combined with unselfishness love and care that is necessary for the benefit of all.  There are many times when we need to use our strength to stop wrong-doing or to give consequences for proper correction or training.  However, even those words or actions will have a purpose of redemption and grace infused into them.  ​​

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   ​This Christmas season we have worshiped Christ as our Savior, coming as a newborn King to give His life for the world. He took His own strength and restrained Himself in order to show us the greatest example of love that could ever be known:

     Jesus, our King, is Gentle. 
 
​  The greater our strength and power, the more we are called to use that capacity in love.  In His letter to the Philippians, Paul urges us as believers to follow Christ in his gentleness: 

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Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
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In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death--
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
 Phil 2:1-11

    In our living room we have a real Christmas tree.  Though we own a fake tree, my children were insistent that we follow tradition and cut down our own tree from the tree farm.  I’m sure they envisioned, as did I, nurturing our warm cups of hot cocoa under the red buffalo plaid sherpa throws.  We would ride atop a horse-drawn haywagon through a snowy landscape to locate the perfect tree--our prior wonderful experience. 
   Instead, the rain pelted down and rivulets of water ran through the muddy parking lot.  The hayride had finished its final round of the day as we pulled in and parked. Stepping out into inches deep of puddles, the cold water seeping through our cloth boots.  In addition, the company had just transferred ownership, and what was once free—hot cocoa, decorated sugar cookies, and hayride—now cost per child.  The tree itself was quite a bit more costly as well. 
    Running through the rain, we accomplished our task as quickly as possible. The majority of our kids opted to stay in the vehicle while their Dad braved the mud with his tree saw and our youngest made a point to inform the poor Santa that he wasn't real.
    Bringing our tree home, we set it up with lights, negotiated the strands that had burnt out, and placed our ornaments.  It smelled wonderfully of fir and wood smoke from our stove. 
     Now it sits there still lit, less than a month later, its needles dropping everywhere and its branches completely dried out.  I never do remember to water those things.  Its once beautiful luster has faded and the tree is beginning to decompose.
      Praise God, that’s not the kind of beauty we receive when we practice gentleness in the power of the Holy Spirit! As we practice adding these layers of gentleness to others in our responses, the Scripture promises us that the returning gift will be a beauty that is indestructible, unfading, undecaying and imperishable.   Both our words and our actions will exhibit a grace that shines with the love of Christ, continuously and eternally compelling and attracting people to Jesus Himself.  
     So as the sugars of the season detoxify, work and school resume and irritations spring up, how do you sense the Spirit's leading you to respond in gentleness? How have you experienced the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit demonstrated to you?  

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