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Launch Out Into the Deep

4/21/2021

2 Comments

 
     Simon stood up carefully, pressing his hands into his lower back. He could feel every muscle, tight and cramping, sore from the long night of bending and pulling. Squatting again by the lapping shore-water, he reached down to pick up the fishing net, scrubbing and picking at the lengths of intertwined vegetation.     
     At least the others shared in the tasks, their joint vessels standing empty by the lake shore of Gennesaret. Lake fishing wasn't a one man job, it took a team of people to manage the boat, pull the nets, and clean up after the night.

     This morning was unusual—not in the lack of a catch, that happened often enough, but in the crowd of people watching and thronging around. Several times he found himself motioning small children away from playing with the nets, tangling and tugging on them, making it harder to finish the chore. He wanted to get the job finished and to go home to rest.
     A large shadow fell across his hands in the early morning sunlight, and Simon looked up to see a man, simple and plain, gazing down at him. Even as he did, the people swarmed closer and closer, trampling the nets and pressing into him, pushing and asking questions.
      Simon looked at the growing multitude, and at his boat. Making a quick assessment of the situation, he got up, motioned to the man to climb in, and they set out a little from the shore. If they couldn't finish their job on land, he may as well wait until the crowd dispersed.
     Instead, the man began to teach the crowd, his voice carrying clearly over the water, the people quieting and sitting along the shore. When he was finished, he turned to Simon and said, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.”
     Simon looked at Jesus, his thoughts in a turmoil. He was tired, and Jesus didn't know fishing. He was a master, a rabbi, a teacher of the Law. And they'd already tried-- it just wasn't a good time for fishing. And deep water?  That wasn't where they fished.  Their small boats weren't made well for deep sea fishing. 
    But in that moment, he made a decision. If only to show Jesus that it was pointless, they would go out again.
“Master, we have worked hard all night and caught nothing; but because you say so, I will let down the net.”

    Simon motioned to the others, whose faces mirrored his own frustration and weary defeat. They picked up the oars and set out into the deep water, the waves increasingly swelling and splashing up over the sides. A little water in the boats would be fine, Simon knew. Too much and they would capsize.
     Simon and his partners picked up the large net and lowered it down into the water. Within moments the weight of the net increased and it became more and more difficult to hold on. Simon leaned over the edge, careful to keep the majority of the weight of his lower body within the boat. The ropes began to strain. At the corners, he could see them start to unravel and the cords start to snap.
     Signaling to their partners to come and help, the second boat sidled alongside, and together they heaved the load into both boats, filling them and causing the hulls to sink lower in the water. With the rocking swells, Simon saw the boats begin to take on more water.
     Fear, amazement and a raw sense of insufficiency, more than that--of defilement, gripped Simon's heart. He fell down at Jesus' knees in the boat. “Go away from me, for I am a sinful man, Lord!”
​ 
    Jesus looked at Simon, and knew the magnitude of Simon's heartache and vulnerability. What Simon was now, he would no longer be. A picture of who Simon would become, transformed by Love, seeped into the voice of Jesus, now soft with compassion and hope: “Do not be afraid. From now on you will catch men.” (Luke 5:1-11)
​

Launch out into the deep
​

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     Sometimes it can feel like we have been using all our energy and time fruitlessly—like the thorns and thistles just keep coming, and no matter how hard we try, we come up empty, profitless. It can feel like we are trying to draw full and satisfied people to the Gospel when they feel no hunger or need for it. They aren't attracted to it, and they aren't interested in spending their time hearing. But Jesus, the Master Fisherman, knows just where the “fish” are, and how to draw them.
​

     Often in the gospels, Jesus illustrates a principle first in a parable or symbolic story, and then developes it with further teaching or practical application. In Luke chapter five we see the same pattern. The story of the morning of fishing was meant for us to represent a principle of ministry of sharing the gospel in an effective and harvest producing way.

     Jesus' next three stories show the practical application of going “out into the deep” waters.

     Story one (v. 12-16) starts with a leper who approaches Jesus, needy and hungry for both inner and outer healing. The man has faith, Jesus touches the untouchable, and the man is made clean, both in his body and His spirit.

    The result?


“...the report went around concerning Him all the more; and great multitudes came together to hear, and to be healed by Him of their infirmities. So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed. (v. 15-16)

     To launch out into deep waters we must go to places of need.

    It is in the context of Jesus' obedience to go that those hungry for the gospel would approach Him as what could have seemed an interruption or distasteful distraction. As we go we need to stop, help them in their need and share the good news of what Jesus has done with them.
​

      Story 2 (v. 17-26) involves another man, a paralytic, being brought to Jesus with a need, both physical and spiritual, to be forgiven and made functional. This time, his friends are desperate to get to Jesus through the crowd—the paralytic's friends pull away a hole in the roof to lower him down to Jesus. In spite of the criticism of the religious elite, Jesus not only heals the man, but forgives his sin as well.

The result?

“Immediately he rose up before them, took up what he had been lying on, and departed to his own house, glorifying God. And they were all amazed, and they glorified God and were filled with fear, saying, “We have seen strange things today!” (v. 25-26)


     To launch further into deeper waters, we must disciple those who come in an available way.

   As Jesus discipled the people who came to him, those desperate for the gospel would approach Him until they pressed through the busy-ness and crowd of the situation.  Again, what seemed to be an interruption was what His Father wanted in that moment. We need listen to the Spirit and remain flexible  to shift our focus as needed.


     Story number 3 (v. 27-32) revolves around a tax collector, Levi, a sinner and a cheat, who Jesus saw plying his dishonest trade and approached, offering to disciple him. At Levi's subsequent invitation into his life and into his friendship circle, that of other dishonest tax collectors and sinners, Jesus went home with him, shared in Levi's generosity, and engaged in conversation with his friends.

     Jesus was then criticized by the leading religious of His day, the pharisees and scribes, for such defiled behavior. Jesus responded to their criticism: “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” (v. 31-32)

     The result?

     To launch into the deepest waters, we will be going to those places where the awareness of the spiritual need is already there.  We must see them, and enter into their life.

      This is where some of the greatest harvest is....those who are hungry for the gospel-- the hurting, those acutely aware of their sin and need for forgiveness, those discarded by society, those “poor in spirit,” with an inner and humble sense and urgency about their destitution.  We will find that people are already seeking out the “net.” They are seeking that safety, belonging and wholeness that they may enter into as we point them to Jesus, their savior and healer.


​     And our nets will begin to break.
​

Signal Our Partners
​

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     None of us are physically able to bear alone the burden of responsibility in carrying the gospel to people and discipling them into maturity.

     In Exodus 18, Moses is trying to lead and to judge a nation of millions. When his father-in-law Jethro visited and saw the extent of what he was doing, and that “the people stood before Moses from morning until evening”(v.13) for judgment and instructions, he said, “The thing that you do is not good. Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself.”
​

     Jethro then gave Moses godly and wise counsel:


"Listen now to my voice; I will give you counsel, and God will be with you: Stand before God for the people, so that you may bring the difficulties to God. And you shall teach them the statutes and the laws, and show them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do. Moreover you shall select from all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them....And let them judge the people at all times.... So it will be easier for you, for they will bear the burden with you. If you do this thing, and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all this people will also go to their place in peace.” (v. 17-23)

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     When the nets begin to fill, we need to “signal” our partners in ministry, those who are called to the work of the gospel, and ask for their help. It can be self-gratifying to feel like this is our own ministry, or that we should retain the credit, but that will only result in a net that is broken and a catch that is lost.

     Let's share the work and responsibility, delegate and team task so that the ministry can get done-- His ministry, not ours, for we all serve the same Master and without Him we could do nothing.


Humbly Acknowledge Jesus​


     Peter's humility and willing obedience at this critical juncture is one of those things that marked him for increased ministry—he knew where the credit lay, because he knew his own unworthiness, ignorance and need for Jesus in his own life. His response to Jesus' miracle and nearness was a gut-wrenching longing to get away to a place where he would feel more adequate, more self-equipped and more satisfied in his sin. But he knew that in his sinful inadequacy, he could work all night and catch absolutely nothing.

     Without Jesus, we can do ministry, exhaust ourselves, frustrate our teams, and abandon our families with our time—all for nothing.

     The Simon of the night before felt competent, satisfied and without need of help. The Simon of the morning was shattered, broken, needy and humbled.

     Like Simon, we may feel that after our hard work and long efforts we are exhausted and needy, bewildered and disillusioned. Perhaps we've seen Jesus at work in our lives, but at this point we may worry that we too sinful, too full of inadequacy and too weak for Jesus to call or use us. We may be too scared to be that close to a holy Jesus who calls us to let go of our unrelenting grasp on our possessions, home, relationships and reputations, worried about the potential loss and sacrifice.
​

     With Jesus, the unrelenting toil is over. If we choose to serve Him, he bears the burden of directing where we go, who we speak to, and how we help. He sends us partners along the way. He does the work of cleansing, maturing and making our hearts holy and love-filled for the job ahead. He guarantees the results, because it's all about Him.

    Are you willing to launch out into the deep water with Jesus?  


"Don't be afraid, from now on you will catch men."

Luke 5:10b
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Beside All Waters

4/16/2021

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​Happy

are you who sow
beside all waters,

who send out
freely the feet of the ox and the donkey.

Isaiah 32:20

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         It's springtime in the Canyon.  Our new blueberry plants are set in their rows, and the raspberries are sending up their new canes.  Jeff has been building new cedar planting beds, and our kids are helping to dig out the earth in terraces for the planters to rest.
            Beside my recliner in the living room I have my packets of seeds, and I have been leafing through “The Family Garden Plan” by Melissa K. Norris (from the Pioneering Today podcast), a fellow Santiam Canyon gardening enthusiast who is much more skilled than I am, in the hopes that I might glean from her years of experience. 
           

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     My favorite part is the planning—because I can sit in my recliner with my warm and cozy blanket, hugging a warm cappuccino with a chocolate drizzle.  I am fine with getting the seeds and plants into the ground, but once it's time to weed and water—that's all Jeff.
      Weeding season happily coincides with allergy season.  In fact, I only get a desire to work out in my gardens when it is sunny and warm, something that not a frequent occurrence in our mountainous climate.  I have a haunting suspicion that to be truly successful at gardening I would need be out there rain and shine, cold and warm, working to make sure that each plant has the best shot at bearing fruit later on. 

     While I love the convenience we have in our culture of raised beds, automatic watering systems, and online seed shopping, it doesn't help much in understanding some of Scripture's analogies in planting and harvesting—Scripture's most often used parallel for ministering in the Word of God.
          In Eastern Biblical cultures, they didn't have raised cedar beds and imported topsoil.  Instead, they worked with what they did have—their water systems.  Every year the streams, creeks and rivers would overflow onto their banks with rich topsoil, spilling essential nutrients and water past their normal bounds. The families would take their grain carefully hoarded from the previous year's harvest out to the moist banks, and, using the oxen and donkeys, would plough up the wet dirt with the animals' feet, afterward throwing out the seed onto the wet topsoil.  This would soak the grains and prepare them for more uniform germination.  As the waters subsided, the plants would spring up and have easy access to water and nutritious soil throughout the hot summer months. 
         Those most successful, the ones who would reap the richest most bountiful harvests, were those who would continue to sow beside as many water sources as they could find.  They wouldn't just sow once and be done.  They knew that if you wanted the fullest harvest, you wouldn't “put all your eggs in one basket.”  You would diversify.  You would invest your time, energy and resources into as many places as you could for the most profitable return. 
         Have you ever checked the back of those little seed packets?  It always has a spacing for each plant's optimal production.  However, the garden experts don't always advise following those spacing rules.  It is not that they are inaccurate, but rather that if you sow generously across the entire area, so many more plants will come up that the net result of your harvest will be much greater than if you had sowed sparingly. ​
           For the ministries the Lord has given me, this might mean that I participate in worship with my cello.  When my son falls on the playground and comes to me with a bleeding lip, I hold and comfort him.  When the Lord prompts me to share a verse or song with a friend, I obey.  When the floor in the kitchen at church needs mopped, maybe I can help with that.  If there's a devotional needed for youth group, I can ask the Lord to give me something to share.  It can mean different things at different times, but it is more about being flexible to the leadings of the Holy Spirit than about certain amount of time or involvement. 
          Obviously we have our giftings from the Lord in particular areas, and those areas may see a more natural growth and return, but if there's another place that we can invest, even if it's a smaller rate, it is worth sowing into, because the end result will be all the greater.   
       In Ecclesiastes 11:1-6 there is a passage that continues to help me to persevere in “sowing” in ministry in those times when it seems fruitless or discouraging:
​

“Cast your grain upon the waters;
after many days you will receive a return. 

Invest in seven ventures, yes in eight;
you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.

If the clouds are full of water, they pour rain on the earth. 

Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north,
in the place where it falls, there it will lie.

Whoever watches the wind will not plant;
whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.

Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle,
for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that,
or whether both will do equally well.”
Ecclesiastes 11:1-6
​
        While these verses speak about many different things, they really are all illustrating a couple of parallel concepts. 
      Our “grain” is whatever the Lord has given us to share with others—talents, finances, knowledge, service. Jesus' parable in Luke 8 tells of the farmer who scatters his seed on the path, the rocks, and the thorny areas as well as the good soil.  While he may harvest with little to no return in some of those soils, the percentage of people, though small, who receive and bear a harvest when they hear the Word of God is multiplied exponentially. The ability to bear more seed and impact “100 times” more in the future is a harvest worth our investment.
       Unlike the farmer though, as servants we cannot see the inside of a person's heart.  “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Sam 16:7.  We may see what looks like hard-heartedness in people, but is only a carefully formed facade meant to self-protect.  We may see what looks like a lack of understanding, but as maturity forms and knowledge increases may come back to them with a Spirit-inspired revelation of insight.  Only God can see beyond the appearance of things. 
​
We must keep casting the gospel everywhere we can find to cast it,
because as seed-casters, we cannot see the heart's condition.


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       It takes a measure of faith to take what we have carefully saved of our time, energies and resources, and “throw it into the mud.”  It's easy to wonder if that investment into people will ever produce anything, especially when many people reject the gospel, or treat us poorly as a result.  Many often consider what we have to share to be of no value, and the sacrifice of what we could have enjoyed for ourselves with that precious resource can seem pointless and discarded. 
      If we look at those discouragements, if we focus on what seem to be failures, than we lose our courage to keep planting.  If we “watch the wind” or “look at the clouds,” we will in turn make fear-based choices that will end up with no reward, no ministry fruit. 
      Only God, who forms and works miracles in secret in the womb, knows what He will do with the seed we cast.   Just as we know that rain-clouds will eventually drop their rain, so we know that if we keep persevering there will end up being a harvest. Just as we can predict where a tree will lay when it starts to fall, so we know that our ministry in the Lord will never be wasted. God intently watches over His Word to make sure that it will accomplish what He intends. (Jer. 1:12, Isa. 55:11)


“There, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you.
Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,
because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
1 Cor. 15:58

 
We must keep serving regardless of the conditions and outlook,
because God watches over His own purposes. 

         
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       At our church we are wrapping up our school year schedule of ministry, and moving into a season of rest and minimal work so that we can restore our energies for the next year and spend more family time.  This year, honestly, has been a difficult one to finish out.  Trying to juggle seminary, homeschooling and leadership at the same time has on many occasions drained my energy.  At the end of a particularly challenging season, when we have given and given and feel like there's nothing left to give, it can feel like perhaps we should have saved more.  It can be challenging to continue to throw it all out there and to trust that we will have more again to give later on. 
            My husband owns his own business, and he is always looking for ways to supply his employees with better, faster tools, more efficient vehicles, and sufficient help to get each job finished in a timely and profitable way.   A good and wise owner will always want to supply his workers with what they need to get the job done well. 
            In the same way, our God, who created all things by the Word of His mouth, wants to re-supply and refresh us with all that we need for each new day. So at the end of each day, let's take our empty baskets back to Him and ask for more.  More energy, multiplied time, more help, more resources.



God is invested in His own kingdom as the Lord of the Harvest. 
He will abundantly supply us with what we need to serve Him.


“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times,
having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 
As it is written, 'They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures .' Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food,

supply and multiply the seed you have sown
and increase the harvest of your righteousness.”
2 Corinthians 9:10
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The Power That Remains

4/6/2021

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    Have you ever been fascinated by mountain climbers?  I just think it's incredibly daring and awe-inspiring.  They train intensively for the altitude differences in oxygen levels and physical exertion.  They research and prepare the proper equipment and layers of moisture wicking clothing, and for most of them, they hire a competent and experienced guide. 
    As much as they train or prepare, though, things can go wrong. 
    I remember a few years back when an extended family member had been training rigorously for a climb.  Unfortunately, he broke his leg shortly before the trip was to start, and disappointedly he wasn't able to go with his team.  During the week he had been set to go, Nepal was hit with a severe earthquake and avalanches began on the mountain he was set to climb--Everest. 
    Tragically, all the training, protection and guidance couldn't stop the injuries and even deaths that resulted from an unforeseen and uncontrollable force of nature.  
    In my studies this week, I saw some of the same devastation in the life of King Saul.  In 1 Samuel 16, we find that after his rejection of God, he made a progressive series of poor and destructive choices that avalanched over his kingdom and family.  

After the Spirit of the LORD had departed from Saul, a spirit of distress
{evil, bad, wicked}
 from the LORD began to torment {terrorize, startle} him. Saul’s servants said to him, “Surely a spirit of distress from God is tormenting you.
1 Samuel 16:14-15

​​
​    Without the Spirit of God, Saul was susceptible to the mental torment of an evil spirit.
Earlier in 1 Samuel we see that when Saul was anointed as king, God sent His Holy Spirit to rest upon Saul and empower him with courage, passion and wisdom to get the tasks done that the Lord gave him for his position over the people.
     Once Saul, however, had thoroughly rejected God as his own king (1 Sam 13:13-14; 14:11-26), God in turn rejected Saul, and by consequence, the Spirit of God was removed in order that Saul and all the people of Israel could see just how evil power without godliness could be (1 Sam 8:7-18).
     After the Holy Spirit and presence of God was removed from Saul's life, it was a natural next step for Saul to be harassed by an evil spirit. While we see from the passage that God sent the evil spirit, displaying the sovereignty of God, we also know from Saul's own free choices that he was dwelling on the very temptations that the evil spirit enticed him with...jealously, evil suspicions, envy, murder, deceit, malice, debilitating fear, worry, and discontent. 
     The word used in the Hebrew for the evil spirit “tormenting” him, means to terrorize, bring fear, make one easily startled. He became unable to properly handle the ministrations of the kingdom, being often brooding, enraged, distracted, anxious and rash.
     While God indeed is sovereign in this situation, Saul also made his choice. He chose to serve the evil of his own heart rather than to repent, which in turn led to an open invitation by his spirit to other evil spirits. Spirits of fear, of lust, of pride, and of murder.
    Jesus tells the story in Matthew 12 about a man who had been freed from an evil spirit, and had “swept his house clean, and set it in order.” The healed man's spirit was free and clear and in completely order, free to make its own choices. Tragically, the man's choice was to leave his own spirit empty. In so doing, he became a target for the evil spirit who had previously occupied his body. Going to arid places, Jesus tells us, the evil spirit sought seven other spirits more evil than itself and invited them to come with him to reoccupy the empty man's body, since there was an open vacancy. “The final condition of that man,” Jesus tells us, “was worse than the first.”
     A few years ago we owned a delightful dark chocolate brown newfoundland puppy. He was fluffy and cuddly and playful.  Very quickly, though, we discovered that we enjoyed him better without that "wet dog" smell that is so classic to long-haired dogs. Now, newfoundlands are bred to be water rescue dogs.  Their coats are extra insulating and warm, and they love to play in the rain and snow, making him a perfect dog for our mountain home.  What we learned, though, is that if we shampooed his coat it would temporarily strip the natural oils from his fur and take away the natural waterproofing with which he was created.  Without the oils saturating his fur, the moisture would have access to his skin. 
   Jesus' story illustrated that the only way to not be occupied by evil was to be filled with the Holy Spirit, effectively shutting the door against any unwanted occupation.

                                               Submission to God, His will and His spirit
                                                 results in a saturation that repels evil.


     But there is another condition which the Bible shares with us about torment from evil spirits, one of which believers should also be aware. It is not an occupation, but it is an exterior pressure that brings suffering internally.  An occupation or indwelling of an evil spirit gives it mastery over a person, and enslaves a man to do evil. In contrast, though, suffering experienced by a believer from an evil spirit results in the power and glory of Christ and increased ministry!
     My husband and I are currently leading a youth group at our church. Over the course of the year, I have noticed that whatever Biblical principle I am about to share in our ministry ends up coming very close and raw in my own life, and I far too often find myself confused at the particular and unique trials and feelings that I go through. 
    Confused that is, until I start to work on the next passage for our studies, and find the very answers to my own situation and needs! To be truthful, I am both a little annoyed at this and very grateful. I wish I didn't need to go through even a taste of each problem before I shared it, but it does help me to understand the frustrations and challenges that are involved in working through these principles with the Lord, and I am so very grateful that He does know how to help me handle them!

    This last week, I found myself often coming under a particularly frustrating attack on my nerves. It was debilitating. I am used to having the end of a long day or when my blood sugar is low be very challenging or stressful for me, particularly with noise or mess. But this particular morning was unique in that I was thoroughly rested, well fed, and with no greater than normal noise level. I found that all of a sudden every noise was excruciating, my work on homeschooling or on the computers were met with every kind of roadblock and frustration, and that my soul seemed completely overwhelmed.
    Not only that, but even with my holding in my feelings so that the kids wouldn't be disturbed (I certainly can't say that I have the self-control to never spill my frustrations onto my kids, but this morning I had been extra careful), I started to hear the little kids reacting to this spiritual attack in the middle of what had been a peaceful morning, and they were completely unable to cope. It dawned on me after a bit (I should have noticed it sooner!) that it was spiritual in nature, rather than just a typically difficult day. I prayed silently, submitted our school day and agendas to the Lord, asked for His help and peace and Spirit to comfort us, and commanded any evil spirit to leave in Jesus' name. Within moments God's Spirit had restored my calm and peace completely, and the kids were peaceful again as well, praise the Lord!
    The funny thing is, and rather embarrassing to admit, I forget those moments so very easily! Even today, as I was trying to sit down to write out this devotional, the very same thing happened. This time, it wasn't until I started reading through the passage that it dawned on me that the spiritual attack was happening again, and that I needed to deal with it in the Lord. Once again, as soon as I did, His peace and comfort returned and I was free to work without impairment.
    While that is so simple and wonderful, though, there have been many times where whatever trouble it was that I pleaded with the Lord to remove just remained in my life, and I had to live with the problem while living in His peace in the middle of it, sometimes for years, and some that are still ongoing for me.
   In 2 Corinthians 12:17 the Apostle Paul shares with us his story of great favor, blessing and revelation from the Lord, and his subsequent suffering in order to not give himself over to sin. For Paul, it was very similar—an evil spirit to bring him suffering. However, because Paul's spirit was indwelt with the Holy Spirit, he had an entirely different outcome: “Lest I should be exalted above measure, there was given me a thorn [stake, impalement] of the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to buffet[beat, pound in] me.”
    Paul doesn't share with us in this context to what he was referring, whether it was a physical ailment, emotional trauma, mental agony or spiritual temptation, but whatever it was left him feeling weak and inadequate for what he was called to do. The words he used suggest to me that it was his own form of bearing the cross, the impalement of the cross, from which Jesus Himself prayed also to be spared.
  Therefore, when Paul asked Jesus three time to remove this evil spirit, this acute suffering, Jesus would not, but replied to him:

                    “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

    Paul's response is both awe-inspiring and humbling at the same time:

                          “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
                                               so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

     Honestly, this is hard for me. Being weak and inadequate while allowing God to use me is not really what I had hoped for in my dreams of a future in ministry or parenting. Dealing with pain, frustration, uncertain physical outcomes and spiritual attacks on my family definitely wasn't.
   But if my weakness and inadequacy makes Christ's power more evident, if it increases His glory and leads to more healing and wholeness for myself, my family and the people God brings into my life, then I want it.  It does feel backward to me, but a couple of verses come to my mind, "for the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God....But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him." (1 Cor 1:18, 27-29)
    What about you? What things in your life does the Spirit put his finger on and say, “This....[pain, unfinished story, brokenness, weakness, insufficiency].....this is what I want to use to bring people to Me? This...is how I will bring you the very most blessing.....

       "This...is what makes 
My power rest on you...and remain.”

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. 
Cast me not away from Your Presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.  
Restore unto me the joy of Your salvation, and renew a right spirit within me."  
Psalm 51:10-12
A Psalm of David
​after he sinned with Bathsheba
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    Halley Faville lives with her husband and children in their mountain home in Oregon. 

    ​As a homeschooling mother of 7 children, she enjoys spending her free time in  language arts, music, art, and outdoor activities.  

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