Help for the Harried

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      Mamas—it’s time!    
     Time for the sound of that new textbook cracking open.  Time for hot coffees in the morning…and in the sleepy afternoon.  Time for sweaters, warm, wood stove fires crackling, and bouquets of newly sharpened pencils.  
     I can’t help but get excited at all the new things we will be learning together.  As one who gets easily bored learning and teaching the same things year after year, I enjoy finding things that none of us have learned before.  Whether it’s studying a new way to illustrate creative writing or complex and microscopic moss piglets, the world of learning is fascinating and challenging. 
      On the flip side, though, there is always a bit of a dread, buried deep in the sub-conscious, of the failure that may accompany all my plans for learning.  Somehow a part of our identity can get wrapped up in our children’s success--perceived as our own success--in school, arts, music, college and careers.  A success defined by others. 
     Add to that the many unachievable public standards for learning, the judgment from other parents and the many Facebook posts of perfectly organized and color coordinated school rooms, and we homeschool mamas can quite easily find ourselves trying to the point of exhaustion to keep up with all the expectations of being the perfect woman. 
     But let’s pause over our coffee for a moment.  Grab a chunky blanket—or, if you haven’t gotten that pinterest-worthy prize yet, as I haven’t, perhaps just a warm and cozy one will do.  Because before we get too embroiled in the school year, before we find ourselves locking horns with that “unreasonable” and “stubborn” child who may really be overworked, underplayed and lonely, let’s take a look at what God says about our homeschool plans—because believe or not, He has plenty to say!
    And before we get into it…before you start to feel like this will just be more for you to do, I want you to know that our Good Shepherd Jesus “gently leads those who are with their young” (Is. 40:11).  He has more investment into what we are doing with our kids than we even do! As much as our hearts care, I can guarantee you that He cares more.  He will not require more of us than what we have to give. 
     With that said, I want to take us to look at my favorite homeschool passages with which I always begin my school year. As I plan, it helps me to plan wisely, and to not get to hung up on all these helpful tools.  It helps me to keep my focus on what God defines as true success for our families: 

Ship your grain across the sea;
after many days you may receive a return.
Invest in seven ventures, yes, in eight;
you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.
If clouds are full of water,
they pour rain on the earth.
Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north,
in the place where it falls, there it will lie.
Whoever watches the wind will not plant;
whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.
As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things.
Sow your seed in the morning,
and at evening let your hands not be idle,
for you do not know which will succeed,
whether this or that,
or whether both will do equally well.
Ecclesiastes 11:1-6

Invest in variety
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     The first idea here in verse 1 is to not be afraid to invest in a variety of ways! God is all for your kids learning how to draw in animation.  He loves it when they learn how to set up an audio recording studio.  He gets excited when they are interested in beehives.   Jesus loves their fascination with design, dinosaur bones, and bugs. 
  But secondly, and I think just as importantly, God wants us to invest in other people’s children.  You see, our children really belong to God.  We are just entrusted with them temporarily as a stewardship.  So when we work together to help one another in homeschool, whether through co-ops, field trips, church activities, or a simple play date, we are helping to invest in a stewardship of God’s kids. 
     We don’t know what hard stuff will come. While 2020 gave us a bitter taste, life really is unpredictable and only our wise and loving heavenly Father knows the times or the seasons appointed to us (Acts 1:7).  Perhaps a co-op you started may impact thousands down the road in a positive way, or perhaps that outing you had where you learned about native plants and their uses may save a life.  Maybe the child you befriended that day at the playground was in desperate need of love and attention.  Maybe that mama was at her ropes' end trying to trust God with all that she juggled and struggled. Perhaps 2020 has brought in many parents to homeschooling for secular reasons, but they may not know about the life-changing grace of Jesus!
     While investing abroad in others may take longer to see a return, there absolutely will be a benefit to you and to your kids as they see you model Christ-like service to others! 

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Be careful what we put in
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     I remember sitting on my bed, silently fuming.  My face, I’m sure, betrayed my inner rage and disrespect, but my lips sure wouldn’t.  I was verbally respectful for the full half an hour of lecture my mother would give me, but I was pretty stubborn in my response.
     But do you know what?  I was listening.  The Spirit of God was inscribing her words of warning, love and wisdom on my heart.  The memory verses she helped me memorize echoed back the exhortations of God.  The Daily Light  devotional she had gifted me spoke to my convicted heart night after night. 
    And gradually, my heart yielded in obedience to God’s voice.  Gradually the lies, the disrespect, the disobedience and stubbornness were replaced by love and admiration for my mom, along with a deep gratitude that she had stuck it out so gently and lovingly. 
     It might seem like our kids aren’t listening to our Bible reading or wisdom, but God’s Spirit works inside of them to recall those things when they need it.
     Not only that, but what we put into our kids will be sure to come out of them, one way or another, at some point.  As we pour into them, they will fill and spill out onto others. 
     So let’s look at what we are pouring in: what messages are our kids getting from our words, our tones, and our actions toward others, circumstances, and news? What about the video games, movies, or books?  While we certainly can’t control everything our kids see or hear about, we should pay attention to what we do have a choice over, and look to make sure that those things will reflect God’s character when they resurface later. 
      Perhaps after spending time hearing something that doesn’t reflect God’s character-- maybe a conversation they had with a friend, or an encounter with a neighbor--it would be a good time to have a chat about what God has to say about the subject, and how we can encourage others to love God in that way. 

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Lean our children towards God
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       Our family recently survived through the Beachie Creek wildfires of 2020.  The memorial of the blackened trees surrounding our property line testifies continuously to the grace of God as He spared our home and family that night. 
       However, down around our creeks, there are some trees that were dangerously damaged. One in particular, near our neighbor’s home, leaned ominously over her trailer.  We hired a private logger to come out and expertly take out the worst offenders.  He walked through the property, marking any timber that seemed likely to fall in the event of a storm. 
      As he commenced his cutting, the buzzing sound of his saw filled the air.  In just a few moments, the cracking and splintering sounded through the canyon as the seventy-foot tree began to break and fall. 
         Devastatingly, while the logger successfully diverted the lean, the new lean that the logger had placed in his cutting brought the tree sickeningly down on the front engine of his employee’s car she had been in the process of driving up our driveway.  Amazingly, she was unharmed, though I would venture to say, very shaken! 
          The log, almost a year later, remains where it fell.
         Mamas, whereever we lean our kids, without intervention they will likely fall.  In Solomon’s proverb, the falling was not a bad thing, it was simply the direction of the tree.  In our homeschooling, in our parenting, we have a unique influence over our children’s life direction and heart choices while they are young. 
           
          The time to train our children to lean toward the light of Christ is now. 

      Trees lean a direction naturally.  When they fall they will continue in that gravitational pull and land predictably and immovably.
     As the tree grows, it follows the light, and leans toward it.  While trees are small and immature, it is relatively easy to train them in the direction you want it to follow,  and the amount of training necessary to change its direction is very small.  However, as the tree grows more solidly and thickly, it takes more and more outside pressure to change its course. 
      Our children’s earliest development is the time to train them to lean the direction necessary to the purpose for which they are made by their Creator: to love, honor and glorify God (Ecc. 12:1).    
     While our children always have choice to make about whether they will repent and make Christ their Lord, our leaning them now can save them much heartache from unnecessary consequences later in life due to wrong choices and attitudes.            

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Keep investing and leave the results to God
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     Take courage!  Let's not let the scary things distract us from our work!  Just as the coming storm threatens to destroy our fields after we plant, making us hesitate to use up our stored seed, so we will always face threatening situations that seem like they will destroy the work and investment we are making into our children’s hearts.
       I don’t know a veteran mom who has not seen those storms rolling in:
 
     The doctor’s diagnosis, preventing you from getting up and caring for your children in the way you believe is ideal. 
      The unexpected job loss that forces you to spend most of your school year packing, moving, and looking for work. 
    The debt you were forced into that prevents you from buying organizational tools or the “right” curriculum. 
      The new baby that seems to need constant attention.
      The sleeplessness of trauma and grief that renders you unable to focus during your day.

   All of these things are threats from the enemy.  They threaten us with our inability, the uncontrollable nature of life itself, and the menacing invisibility of the forces at work to undermine, destabilize and destroy whatever we are working to build.  

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     But just as the path of the wind is indiscernible, so the formation of a baby is hidden.  Just as the development of a seed under the soil is invisible, so the work of God is concealed (Heb. 11:1-2, Prov. 25:2). 
 
     The work of God in your child’s heart is unseen, and takes faith in a God who works perfectly in the unseen.  God’s work is invisible, complex, beautiful and sure.
 
       It is this faith in the faithfulness of God that gives us the ability to sow in circumstances that look devastating.  It is this faith that the Spirit uses in our lives to creative faithfulness—persistence in doing the actions to which God has called us, relying on Him to make all things grow (1 Cor. 3:7).  ​

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Make the most of every opportunity
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     Learning is continuous, and children are classic imitators.  From the very beginning days of a baby’s life, he or she is practicing your smile.  Their little minds are in a state of constant and insatiable curiosity, and the process of learning development is greatly enhanced for language, social skills, and understanding.  Without even understanding the meaning behind what they are doing, they are practicing everything they see us do and say, every microexpression and tone. 
    Learning and growth doesn’t just happen in a cubicle during a three-to-six-hour window.  They are watching us constantly-- listening when they look bored.  The things we share with them, on purpose and inadvertently with our reactions, responses, attitudes, words, and lifestyles, sink deeply into their impressionable hearts. 
     They are learning from me just as much when I sing a Bible memory verse to them as when I react harshly when they wipe their blackberry stained fingers on their new clothes.  They are learning from my disinterested face as I scroll Facebook posts while they wish to share their hearts, as much when I explain a complicated algebra equation. 

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Be very careful, then, how you live--
not as unwise but as wise,
making the most of every opportunity,
​because the days are evil. 
Eph. 5:15-16

   Whether it’s the Bible, math, science, music, art, cake decorating or legos--whatever it is that you are investing in teaching your child, find ways to invest in their hearts throughout the day. Any moment can turn into a demonstration of God’s character and attributes.
    In Deuteronomy God calls parents to invest at all times, being watchful for opportunities to impress the love and knowledge of the character of God into our children:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deut. 6:4-9

 ​     While this may seem daunting, it is meant to be, in fact, relieving!  It means that discipleship happens both spontaneously and planned, and you do not have to organize all of it!  As we walk in the Spirit’s leading, He will bring opportunities and way to talk about Him into your daily rhythms.  Simply being in tune to His voice will enable you to successfully and naturally disciple in the little and big moments.  By just living, learning, and loving God together naturally. 
     Jesus, our gentle Shepherd, not only wants to lead you gently, mamas, but he wants to “gather the lambs in His arms, and carry them close to His heart” (Is. 40:11) It is for this purpose that God created children to have a heightened ability to learn, lean into Him, and grow into a knowledge of Him and of His creation!  

​     God wants your children to know Him intimately, to enter into relationship with Jesus as their Lord and Savior, and to imitate Him as dearly loved children, living a life of love (Eph. 5:1).
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Fear God and keep His commandments
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    Finally, after all my planning, writing, scheduling, purchasing and investment, all of which God uses to aid us in our stewardship, I love how Solomon ends the book of Ecclesiastes:  

​“Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.”
Ecclesiastes 12:12b-14

     Mamas, we can write and study and plan. We can teach and test and give homework.  We can do all the co-ops and programs and transcripts and college…but there is only one question that will matter at the end of our stewardship: 

       Do our children know and walk with Jesus as their Lord and Savior?

       In the conclusion of the matter, it is really very simple and freeing.  Our mission in each day doesn’t cost any money, doesn’t require any specials tools, equipment or curriculum.  It’s free, and it takes no more time than just simply living with our children and walking in the Spirit’s leading.    Our mission each day is simply a restful living in the moment and walking in the Spirit, responding to those opportunities that He will open up for us to teach and train.  Jesus will not fail to help you and strengthen you as you ask Him for His guidance, wisdom, discernment, and energy. 
      As we plan out our year, our weeks, and our days, let’s do it with just one question:  Is this activity or curriculum acting as a helpful tool to learn to enjoy and grow in our relationship with God? 
     If it does, that’s great!  If it doesn’t, we might consider scratching it out of our agenda.  If it leads to our exhaustion, or makes it harder to live in love and unity because we are too tired, cranky and harried to enjoy learning about God and His creation together, maybe some of these tools are more of a distraction than a tool at all.  Perhaps some of them could be adjusted in their priority level or approach so that they are more useful.  While there are constantly “good” things to spend our time on, only some of them actually free us to enjoy and glorify our Creator—and those will be different for you than for me.
     So let’s approach this school year, this day, with a spirit of joy and rest, knowing that whatever we give to our Creator, He will be faithful to multiply and grow into the work that He designed it to be.